"I got a job and my man is insisting that I start paying his rent, what should I…

• A Nigerian lady is seeking candid advice over a relationship dilemma she’s facing at the moment
• After getting a job, her boyfriend surprisingly demanded that she take charge of paying his rent henceforth
• An experienced relationship expert, Peace Onwubu, put in her two cents to explain who should spend more in a relationship

“Please I need your advice, my boyfriend has gone crazy. My name is Olivia. I have been looking for a job for some time now and my family has been taking care of my needs, especially my elder brother.

“My boyfriend has never spent a dime on me. He always says he is trying to build our future and I shouldn’t let him spend on me yet.

Lady says boyfriend wants her to pay rent
Photo credit: Fabio Camandona, FG Trade/ Getty Images.
Depicted persons have no relationship with story. Photos for illustration only.Source: TikTok

“I just got a job and he’s now demanding that I start paying his rent. Mind you this man earns more than triple of my salary. I am just a small girl compared to him. Please is this the right thing to do? This person has never paid my rent or given me something equivalent to that. He said I should do the spending while he builds with his money for our future.

“I am in a serious dilemma and I love him and I don’t want to lose him. But I don’t think I can pay his rent. Please help. Who should spend more in a relationship?”

Dating is a sweet and bitter experience, as the emergence of challenges cannot be ruled out in any serious relationship.

For some, the relationship might get shaky due to cheating suspicions, while for others, the extreme entitlement of one party involved could destroy the ‘ship’.

The urge to make your partner go the extra mile financially for you, even when it affects them, is enough to tear a relationship apart.

Peace Onwubu is a certified relationship expert and therapist who has successfully mended the broken hearts of many clients with her words of wisdom.

Who should spend more in a relationship?

I personally don’t think this has a direct answer. The answer is relative. It depends on the situation of the couple. Society has made it a way for men to spend more, but what if you, as women, have so much more, and he’s just struggling to make ends meet? And you love this man? You want to help him grow. You want to see him win. In that case, it only fits that you, as the woman, spend more. Relationships should be about two people wanting to spoil themselves.

Getting Olivia out of dilemma

In Olivia’s case, her boyfriend is an entitled brat. Permit me to use that word. You cannot earn triple my salary and want me to pay all your rent. This is a girl who just got on her feet.

From the story, she has been struggling to get a job, and he never gives her anything. He never supported her. She was feeding on help from her family. Finally, God helped her, and he couldn’t wait to say okay, pay my rent. Haba! What level of entitlement is that? This man doesn’t care about her.

I would advise Olivia to say no to this. If she wants to assist, she could give part of the rent, but paying all is so much and could affect her finances.

Two must make a relationship work

Relationship succeeds with combined effort and energy. All I see in Olivia’s boyfriend is a selfish man. He’s all about himself. He doesn’t wish the best for Olivia. He wants to grow and leave her behind.

A man earns triple his lady’s salary and asks that she pay his rent. That’s an extreme entitlement that if she gives in to, she should be ready to pay for his feeding to keep the relationship.

Advice for couples in relationships

Watch out for the attitude of your partner. Is this person keen on your growth? Does this person want you to be happy?

If you have observed that your partner only wants to drain you and does very little to support you when it’s clear that this person can do more for you, please quit.

Disclaimer: Advice given in this article is general in nature and is not intended to influence readers’ decisions about how to spend on their partners. They should always seek professional advice that takes into account their own personal circumstances before making any decision.

Have a story to tell? Need an expert’s advice? Feel free to reach out to us at [email protected] with “Ask An Expert” in the subject line.

Entitled lady demands N15k from boyfriend

Meanwhile, TheTalk.NG previously reported that in a viral video, a lady stopped her boyfriend from going to work because he could not provide the N15k she needed for her hairdo. All efforts to soothe her were brushed aside as she prevented him from leaving the compound. Her boyfriend appealed to her to endure, saying her inner beauty mattered more to him. The lady refused and even rejected the N5k he offered her, insisting that he provide nothing short of N15k.

The man said he recorded her to have evidence and threatened to hit her. She followed him even after he descended from the car to leave for work via another means. The lady said she had endured so long and wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Source: TheTalk.NG

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