- Dr Ikenna Erinne, a 36-year-old Nigerian cardiologist in the US, tragically took his own life after a court ordered him to pay $15,000 monthly in child support
- Legal expert, Faruq Abbas explained that family courts prioritise children’s well-being and advised diaspora Nigerians to understand foreign legal systems
- Mental health expert, Duke Ezikpe highlighted the societal stigma around mental health, particularly for men, and stressed the importance of seeking help
After a US-based Nigerian doctor, Ikenna Erinne, killed himself, legal and mental health experts shared some useful insights.
Photo credit: @donkennedy41Source: TwitterCultural and gender dynamics in family courts “You cannot condemn another country’s culture or legal system. If you migrate to another country, you should understand its legal system and culture and be prepared to submit yourself to it.I don’t think it will be appropriate to generalize and see Africans suffer a kind of disadvantage abroad because the legal system, the foundation in custody, is the same all over the world.And in determining what the court will tell the parents to pay for child support, the court will look at the income capacity of the parents. So, if the parents were to be in jail or were to be incapacitated, the court will not overburden you to pay a particular amount you cannot afford.So, in my own estimation, I wouldn’t say that they suffer any kind of ecological disadvantage. I would just say, engage the legal system appropriately and look for defenses because every legal system has disadvantages and advantages for your own circumstance. Look for the rules there that will favor you and that you can utilize to protect your case.Cultural sensitivity in the US legal system”If the court orders $10,000 per month and you lose your job, you can go back to court and request a variation. The system recognizes personal circumstances, regardless of cultural background.” Abbas also noted that custody and support orders are not final and can be revisited as circumstances evolve, ensuring fairness over time.”There are mechanisms within the system that you can apply for. I believe that the circumstances of your personal situation, whether you are a Pakistani, you are an American, you are a Nigerian, it’s the same legal system, and they recognize your position. That guideline applies to the average man, so there is like a cap. If your monthly income, family income, is below a particular cap, that guideline will apply. But if your income is significantly above that, then you leave it for the court’s discretion. The court will now consider other circumstances.”Nigerias role in cross-border disputes “Nigerian courts ensure that the standard of living for children is maintained. If a child was used to attending a private school, the court will not allow that to change simply because the parents are separated.We’ve had cases, we’ve been involved in cross-border family litigation in the UK and in Nigeria, where we started out the case in Nigeria, and the wife was going to ask for help in the UK, saying that Nigeria is not taking care of us, and there is no, we don’t have good laws, and all that.But we got an expert opinion, and the Nigerian expert gave detailed analysis of Nigerian law, and said that Nigerian law is very fair and takes care of all parties. But of course, the UK law allows a party who feels that in their country, where they got divorced and obtained custody, or whatever, the award that was given was not fair, or was intimidation, or against them, or discriminatory. There is a provision under the UK law that you can file for financial support separately if there is a basis for the case to be determined in the UK.Lessons for Nigeria from Global Practices When you have that sort of issue, look for an experienced person, an experienced professional leader in the field to advise you. Because if you don’t get legal advice early enough, you will have made some mistakes that might be damaging to your case.So, as soon as you notice that there is a vicarious situation that you might end up in court, start getting legal advice. Because your adviser will tell you to keep certain records, he will tell you how to act. And when the matter eventually ends up in court, the court will see that you have acted in a decent and defamed manner. And based on that, the court might not necessarily rule against you.There are some legal systems that naturally favor women, some legal systems are matriarchal in nature, some legal systems are neutral, and some legal systems are balanced. So, make sure you assess the legal system and be aware of the cases that they decide, and know what vicariously will happen if you are able to go to court in that country.”Parents should not see custody battles as a way to punish each other. The child needs both parents, and we must be civil in our interactions.”If fathers are more involved, even the children can advocate for them during disputes. Its about building strong relationships, not just providing financially.Mental health expert offers advice”The issue of mental health is new to Nigeria, and this is because of the cultural nuances in our society, which particularly affect men more. An average man doesn’t like to be vulnerable, so they usually don’t seek help or call a counselor.””You can look at someone for the first time based on perception, not knowing that in his heart, the person is feeling defeated, which is how suicidal thoughts come in. Being a doctor doesn’t mean that you can automatically heal yourself; you must find someone else to heal you.””if someone wants to commit su, cide, he doesn’t always go ahead to commit it. He says it. So, either he writes it or he says it verbally. In our field, when the person has written about it or has said it, investigate. Most people don’t have this training, they can laugh over it and forget it. But the person who is experiencing or is having these thoughts will not always do so. Psychologists say gesture or body language don’t lie. Subconsciously, if you are close to this person, you can easily detect those thoughts.””Anyone who is passing through one thing or the other, talk to someone. Make sure you have emotional support. It’s very important. You must ensure you live below your means, that way, you are not stressed. You have not married, not given birth, you don’t have a nice job, all these things are pressures that when you listen to it, starts to get into stress. People start responding to stress when it moves into chronic persistent stress. So, you must talk to someone.”
