This story was published on Independent News by Ngozi Uma, She is an Independent News Counselor.
Janet started out very early. She had her first sex when she was only 13. The kind of friends she kept in school and their bad activities after school hours could have fueled her curiosity and crave for sex. She ended up getting pregnant for a man she barely knew.
Her secret lover was nowhere to be found, to take responsibility. After giving birth, she said she slept with any man that could give her money, just to feed her baby. Her story continues.
“I grew up in the village, and when I was in secondary school I happened to be one of the fine girls in my set. We had a clique, we called ourselves ‘hot queens’. It was like a sisterhood because we had a strong bond, and we talked about everything, including guys in our lives.
“Then if you didn’t have a boyfriend you couldn’t join our clique. We were known for everything negative. As teens, we came to school with extra clothes, make-up kits. After school we always hung out. That was how we met male friends. At the age of 15, I started drinking alcohol but my parents didn’t know about it. In fact my mother thought I was still innocent, a virgin.
“As I mentioned earlier, I started having s*x at 13, then I was always with my male classmate in his house. He was 18 years then. We started with a kiss and caressing each other, later we stated having s*x.
“When I got to SSS1, I was already 15. I left him to date another man that was giving me money. Unknown to me, the man was a security officer, he was posted to my village. Within three months, I got pregnant. I didn’t know anything about pregnancy, and when I didn’t see my period, I thought it just ceased and that it would come out later. But it never came. I told my friends about it and they were the ones who told me it must be pregnancy. One of them bought drugs for me but nothing happened.
“Unfortunately, I didn’t know where the man I was dating lived. I went to where we usually met. He was not there. I asked people around, they told me he had been posted to another town.
“Ah! I didn’t know what to do. I called his phone, it never went through. Later my mother discovered I was pregnant. Getting pregnant now was no longer the issue but who got me pregnant. I couldn’t say who got me pregnant. My parents, especially my mother, was infuriated. She kept screaming that I had brought shame to our family. I felt like dying.
“My mother almost killed me. I ran to my maternal grandmother’s house and stayed there till I gave birth. A baby boy. No money to feed and to buy pap for my child. I had to sleep with any man just to get money to feed my child.
The good news is that today I am a graduate. When my baby was three years, I came back to my parents’ house. I left the baby with my mother and travelled to Abuja. I stayed with a friend there and got a house help job, and I met a man who helped me. I am glad I made it through school. I am sharing this to encourage anybody who has made mistakes in the past and also to warn teenage girls about the consequences of having sex at a tender age.”
Dear Janet, thanks for sharing this. And I am glad you didn’t give up on your dream. I hope young girls would learn from this. I hope parents and schools will start teaching sex education to young people. Children from the age of seven need to know about their body and the consequences of having sex at a tender age.
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Photo by Mikelya Fournier on UNSPLASH